Ladies and gentlemen, the show you are about to see is 64% gay

Lucky show eleven is also a bit of a cheat, as it took place largely in front of a burlesque audience...and I didn't work out any new material... And I really only spoke fairly briefly... but I am counting it, because it fulfills the aforementioned qualifications, and with God as my witness, I shall not fail a this challenge!

Ugh, am I that needy, I just invoked God to witness a stand up challenge? We soldier on.

Show eleven took place in the form of a Doc Wassabasco show at City Winery. Yes, it was burlesque, but not only did I do a singing number in which I speak to the audience before I cue the DJ (albeit doing my most tried and true jokes for drunk people) each of the performers also emcees one other performer over the course of the night. Nothing major to report here, except that BB Heart mentioned backstage that this was a particularly gay cast, and the indubitable fact checker within needed to verify said supposition before I would sign off on it. Being a woman of science and precision, I requested that each of the members of the cast, excepting the one male member, as we decided it should be a ladies only calculation--BB is cheating already--calculate here percentage gay, 1% being very fond of the fellas, 100% being season tickets to Michigan Women's Festival. We were at a solid 64% gay until two late-coming performers, who shall remain nameless, rated themselves 0 and .02%, respectively, which we rounded to 0. Caught in the long-finger nailed, able to get legally married in all 50 states as well as Canada grasp of their hetero extravaganza, our average plummeted to 40 something, stripping us of our official gay majority, though I do think a couple of the somewhat optimistic 50/50 girls were took notes as to whom to invite to their next venture into "I had a girlfriend in college and occasionally like to make out with someone whose 5 o'clock shadow is in their southern hemisphere" experiment.

I remember a drag queen in Lawrence, KS once tossing the line, "bi now, gay later," at a boy in the crowd of a protest or performance... or maybe there was a performance in response to a protest... or a protest in responses to a performance... the details are hazy, though I do clearly remember Fred Phelps's crew being present. God bless Kansas. Experience has persuaded me, however, that "bi now, annoying later" may be a more accurate moniker for rainbow explorers of the female persuasion. I am the last bi girl with whom I went to bed, which incidentally coincided with the first, second and third orgasm I ever faked. Oops.